Twang by Cannon Julie L

Author:Cannon, Julie L. [Cannon, Julie L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Abingdon Press
Published: 2012-07-31T18:30:00+00:00

“Know how you were saying you didn’t have a friend in this world when you were growing up?” Tonilynn rummaged around in her beauty case for a palette of creamy foundations that don’t melt under stage lights. “Well, it’s put me in mind of that sweet hymn, ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’ You know it, don’t you?”

I didn’t feel like talking. Besides being exhausted from a night spent tossing and turning, I had only three hours until I was up onstage, and before my concerts I liked to kind of draw inward, reflect on my song lineup, what I planned to say between numbers, and that sort of thing. Today this preparation was extra heavy on my mind and even heavier on my heart. I shrugged one shoulder, but Tonilynn didn’t take the hint.

“Well,” she said, leaning in and squinting to dab concealer beneath my right eye, “I like to picture this image of Jesus holding my hand like a best friend. In my mind’s eye, you know? I do that whenever I get to feeling scared or down or just plain-out lonely. And let me tell you, he’s got the gentlest hands. Sometimes I can even feel where the nail scars are. I want you to have that too—the assurance that if you put your hand in his, you can walk through fire.”

Tonilynn raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer when I didn’t respond. “Jennifer, I’m feeling a lot of anxiety in you. I want to make sure you have peace. Every single one of us goes through hard trials, you know? We all fall into the pit from time to time. But if you got Jesus holding your hand, you know everything’ll be all right in the end. You know all those ugly things have a purpose.” She squeezed my shoulder. “ ’Course, before I was saved, I couldn’t see how any of the messes in my past would ever work out to make me stronger.”

Tonilynn seemed sure that someone somewhere orchestrated everything to her advantage, the good and the bad. I had to admit it would be nice if some benign higher power could wave a wand over my past and make it all okay. But there were things in my life I knew had no redeeming aspects whatsoever. You could dig them up, analyze them from every angle, and never find a way to use them for good. What a simple soul Tonilynn was! This realization made me feel tender and mad toward her at the same time. It also hit me then, like a knife in the heart, that I’d never have Tonilynn’s peace. I would go on my whole life just like this, running and hurting.

“Hey, hey, what’s this about?” Tonilynn moved to the end of my kneecaps. She set the foundation palette down and took my hands in hers. “Don’t cry. If you got ugly things back there, just commit them to the Lord, and I promise he’ll use them for your good.

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